Nothing Can Prepare You For The Yawning

I Wore A Groove In The Kitchen Floor With Endless Trips To The Fridge, Hoping Against Hope That I Had Somehow Missed A Plateful Of Cold Sausages On The Previous 4,000 Excursions. Then, For No Obvious Reason, I Decided To Buy A Footstool.

You're A Car, But Most Of All, What You Are, What You've Become, Is A Mate. And That's What Makes A Car Special. That's What Makes A Car Great. You Start To Think Of It As A Person. You Start To Love It.

When I Was 16, I Wanted To Look Like Lord Byron. It's Not Really A Haircut So Much As A Hair-not-cut, But I've Never Changed It. It's A Bit Byron, A Bit Don Juan Demarco And Other Things That I Aspire To Be.

I Don't Often Agree With The Rspca As I Believe It Is An Animal's Duty To Be On My Plate At Supper Time.

They Are By Far The Worst Drivers. They Are Spiteful, Dithering, Old And In The Way. They Should Have Their Licences Taken Away.