No One Has As Much Luck Around

A Golf Ball Is Like A Clock. Always Hit It At 6 O'clock And Make It Go Toward 12 O'clock. But Make Sure You're In The Same Time Zone.

After All These Years, It's Still Embarrassing For Me To Play On The American Golf Tour. Like The Time I Asked My Caddie For A Sand Wedge And He Came Back Ten Minutes Later With A Ham On Rye.

I Am A Millionaire Today And My Wife Deserves All Of The Credit. Before I Met Her I Was A Multi-millionaire.

When I Used To Gamble, I Looked For Players With Head Covers On Their Irons. Those Guys I Could Beat.

The First Time I Played The Masters, I Was So Nervous I Drank A Bottle Of Rum Before I Teed Off. I Shot The Happiest 83 Of My Life.