My Whole Act Is Off The Top

I Can Sit All Day In A Comfortable Chair And Watch Ball Games, But I Don't Need A Blanket.

I Never Could Tell A Joke. I Just Started Talking To The Audience, And When The Drunks Would Yell, "hey, When Do The Broads Come On?" I Got Good At Saying, "relax. Clear Your Skin Up First." They Called Me "the Insult Guy," But It's Never Mean-spirited. I'm Just Exaggerating Everything About Us And About Life.

You've Got To Be Able To Sell Yourself.

I've Never Gambled A Dime. Never, In All My Years In Vegas.

I Was A Mother's Boy.