My Sex Life Has Gone From Bad

If I Found Yoko Ono Floating In My Pool, I'd Punish My Dog.

Better Laid Than Never.

Before We Make Love My Husband Takes A Pain Killer. I Blame My Mother For My Poor Sex Life. All She Told Me Was, 'the Man Goes On Top And The Woman Underneath'. For Three Years My Husband And I Slept On Bunk Beds. I'm A Double Bagger. Not Only Does My Husband Put A Bag Over My Face When We're Making Love, But He Also Puts A Bag Over His Head In Case Mine Falls Off. It's So Long Since I've Had Sex, I've Forgotten Who Ties Up Whom. My Best Birth Control Now Is To Leave The Lights On.

Travel Is The Excitement Of Life! Everything Is An Adventure, And If You Look At It Like That, Even At The Worst Moment You Can Say: 'we Will Laugh Tomorrow About This.' And You Do.

I Have A Million Dollar Figure ... But It's All Loose Change.