My Husband Is So Cheap. On Christmas

We Have Far Too Many Kids. At One Time In The Playpen There Was Standing-room Only. It Looked Like A Bus Stop For Midgets. It Used To Get So Damp In There, We'd Have A Rainbow Above It.

I Got My First Laugh When My Mother Entered Me In A Baby Contest.

Do Not Taste Food While You're Cooking. You May Lose Your Nerve To Serve It.

Once My Husband Said To Me, 'i'm Going To Have Some Coffee. Do You Want Me To Put Some Hot Water On For You?' I Thought That Was The Least He Could Do Considering I Was Giving Birth.

I've Been Asked To Say A Couple Of Words About My Husband, Fang. How About Short And Cheap?