My Doctor Told Me To Watch My

If I Could Have Dinner With Anyone Who Lived In History, It Would Depend On The Restaurant.

A Man In The Crowd Asks: Hey Rodney, How'd You Get Started? Rodney: I Was 12 Years Old, Alone In My Room, And I Got Started!

I Like To Date Schoolteachers. If You Do Something Wrong, They Make You Do It Over Again.

When I Got Back Into Show Business In 1961, I Felt - For Obvious Reasons - That Nothing In My Life Went Right, And I Realized That Millions Of People Felt The Same Way. So When I First Came Back My Catch Phrase Was "nothing Goes Right." Early On, That Was My Setup For A Lot Of Jokes.

Well With Girls I Don't Get No Respect. I Had A Blind Date. I Waited Two Hours On The Corner. A Girl Walked By. I Said Are You Louise? She Said, Are You Rodney? I Said, Yeah. She Said, I'm Not Louise.