My Dad Doesn't Get Any Of My

My Headshot Is A Scratch And Sniff, It Smells Like Failure And Onions.

I Have A 60-acre Farm In North Carolina, And I Have A Tractor And A Farmhouse. As Soon As I Groom The Land, I Want To Put Cabins Around And Have A Place Where People Can Write And Hang Out. It'll Be Either That Or An All-black Nudist Colony.

You Know How Some People Have Gay-dar? I Have Fat-dar. I Can Automatically Tell If You're Fat Or Not. And I Also Have Cerebral-palsy-dar.

You Write Things That Are Of Interest To You. There's No Focus Group.

My Brother Has Add, Which Is Weird Because He Drives A Ford Focus. I Told My Brother That Joke But He Didn't Laugh Because He Got Distracted By My Shoe Strings.