My Act Is Based On My Life.

I Have A No-apology Policy. No Apologies For Jokes. I Apologize In My Real Life All The Time. I Say Ridiculous Things, I Make Mistakes Constantly. But When I'm On Stage, I'm At A Microphone It's A Joke!

Well, My Whole Thing With Gossip Is I Couldn't Care Less If It's True.

I'm On Every Worst-dressed List Imaginable.

I Also Love Mole, The Unsung Hero Of Reality Programming.

The Thing That Bums Me Out About 'the Real World' Is I Don't Want To Believe That Teenagers Are That Stupid.