Maybe My Life Isn't Great. We Don't

I Couldn't Care Less If The Guy I'm Guarding Has Hiv. I'm Going To Slam Him Anyway.

I'm The Basketball Version Of A Gravedigger.

For Five Years I've Felt Like The Best Prostitute In A High-class Whorehouse. But All The Other Girls Get Paid More Than I Do.

For Years The League Has Thought I've Been On Drugs. I Would Have Burned Out A Long Time Ago If That Was True.

They Say Elvis Is Dead. I Say, No, You're Looking At Him. Elvis Isn't Dead; He Just Changed Color.