Make Sure You're Doing Impressions Of People

You Live By The Cake, You Die By The Cake.

And I Don't Want You Thinking That My Girlfriend Is A Bad Person. She Is An Amazing Woman, The Fact That I Only Have Seven Stories About Her In Eight Years, Says A Lot. You Know, Don't Get Me Wrong, Five Of Them Happened This Year, But That's Still Way Below The Bar, You Know What I Am Saying.

Tv And Film For Me Are Not As Exciting As The Live Stand-up Show And Getting The Immediate Reaction Of The Crowd. Tv Is A Lot Of Hurry Up And Wait For Your Shot And Less Immediate Reaction From People.

I'm Never Home. I Miss Birthdays. I Miss Holidays. I Miss Anniversaries. I Miss Special Moments. I'm Not Always There For Important Times, Because I'm Out On The Road Trying To Make People Laugh. I Give Up My Privacy. I Give Up The Ability To Walk Somewhere And Relax.

Me Racist? The Only Race I Hate Is The One You Have To Run.