Last Halloween A Kid Tried To Rip

On Halloween, The Parents Sent Their Kids Out Looking Like Me.

My Wife She's Fat. Why, If She Lost A Few Pounds, She'd Be Perfectly Round.

She Failed Her Drivers Test. She Couldn't Get Used To The Front Seat. It Took Her Four Lessons To Learn To Sit Up.

When We Got Married, The First Thing My Wife Did Was Put Everything Under Both Names - Hers And Her Mother's.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. The Time I Was Kidnapped, And The Kidnappers Sent My Parents A Note They Said, "we Want Five Thousand Dollars Or You'll See Your Kid Again."