Ladies And Gentlemen Of The Jury. It's

Onstage I Do All The Stuff I'd Never Do In Real Life, Like Lashing Out At People Who Make Me Mad Or Freaking Out In A Long Bank Lineup. Performing Allows Me To Fulfill All The Sicko Fantasies I've Ever Had.

My Most Important Professional Accomplishment To Date Is The Ability To Keep Working With Absolutely No Skills Whatsoever.

Every Song A Hit, Every Hit A Smack!

We All Have A Dinosaur Deep Within Us Just Trying To Get Out.

I'm A Traveling Practical Joker. That's My Line Of Work.