Joan Rivers Telling Lauren Bacall Her Dress

The Average American's Day Planner Has Fewer Holes In It Than Ray Charles's Dart Board.

The Mexican People I Know Seem To Respect The Country In A Way That Many Spoiled Brats Who Were Born Here Don't. So Come On Over Folks, The More The Merrier. But Please, Sign The Guest Book On The Way In.

Is Global Warming New? I Don't Know. When I Was Young I Remember The Sun Being Hot.

Nervous? He's Tighter Than Pat Buchanan's Sphincter Muscle At A 4th Of July Soiree On Fire Island.

I Like The Show [factor] Because It's Horny, But It's Not Skeevy. Where Else Are You Going To Get That Nowadays?