It's Tough To Stay Married. My Wife

If Every Man Was As True To His Country As He Was To His Wife, We'd Be In A Lot Of Trouble.

Once I Opened Up A Fortune Cookie And Inside Was The Guy's Cheque Next To Me I Said Hey Buddy I Got Your Cheque He Said Thanks.

I Was So Ugly My Mother Used To Feed Me With A Sling Shot.

I Told My Wife 'hey Honey Come On, Let's Make Love Like The Old Days.' She Asked Me For 50 Bucks.

She Was So Ugly That I Took Her To A Dog Show And She Won First Prize.