It's So Easy To Judge Everybody And

My Favorite Machine At The Gym Is The Vending Machine.

My Father Can Not Finish A Sentence. When We Were Kids He Would Go, 'girls The Most Important Thing In Life To Remember Is...' 'daddy, What Is It?' 'what's What, Honey?' 'the Most Important Thing In Life To Remember.' 'oh, What's That?'

Sitting Next To Olivia Newton-john, I Was Like, 'do Not Sing One Song From Grease.' That's All I Was Telling My Brain At All Times: 'do Not Sing Hopelessly Devoted. Don't Do It.'

Before We Got Engaged, He Never Farted. Now It's A Second Language.

My Daughter Is Exceptionally Chatty. I'm Not A Braggy Mother But She Is Gifted - With The Personality Of A Russian Gymnastics Coach.