It's Not A Joke: I Really Do

I'd Rather Live In A Cave With A View Of A Palace Than Live In A Palace With A View Of A Cave.

I Know Who I Am. Bloody Hell, I'm Getting Enough Bills For Karl Pilkington So I Hope I Am Him, 'cos If I'm Not, I Have No Idea Who I'm Paying For

If You’re Not Happy Looking A Knob In The Face, There’s Something Wrong.

There's A Lot Of Idiots In The World, So Live With It.

Making The 'an Idiot Abroad' Series, I Was Really Dreading Going To India; I Thought I'd Hate It. It Was A Nightmare, And I Was Really Ill - Just Like Everyone Says.