It's Harder To Be Funny From The

In Football The Object Is To March Into Enemy Territory And Cross His Goal. In Baseball The Object Is To Go Home.

Movies And Television Don't Make You Violent; All They Do Is Channel The Violence More Creatively.

Governments Don't Want A Population Capable Of Critical Thinking, They Want Obedient Workers, People Just Smart Enough To Run The Machines And Just Dumb Enough To Passively Accept Their Situation.

I Was Looking In The Mirror The Other Day And I Realized I Haven't Changed Much Since I Was In My Twenties. The Only Difference Is I Look A Whole Lot Older Now.

My Left Descending Septal Branch Artery Decided To Close Without Consultation With Any Of My Other Organs. It Happened On Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.