In The Olden Days I Always Got

This Is The Renault Espace, Probably The Best Of The People Carriers. Not That That's Much To Shout About. That's Like Saying “ooh Good I've Got Syphilis, The Best Of The Sexually Transmitted Diseases.”

I Was Reading The Mirror The Other Day And Came Across A Letter From A Reader Who Wrote, 'i Was Riding My Bike To Work When This Red Ferrari Pulled Up Next To Me. Out Of The Window, Jeremy Clarkson Shouted 'get A Car', And Drove Off.' What I Actually Said Was, 'get A Car You Hatchet Faced, Leaf-eating Tw*t

Hollywood Movies Are Designed For 15-year-old Youths From North Dakota Who, Intellectually Speaking, Are On Equal Terms With A British Zoo Animal.

In The Olden Days I Always Got The Impression That Tvr Built A Car, Put It On Sale, And Then Found Out How It Handled. Usually When One Of Their Customers Wrote To The Factory Complaining About How Dead He Was.

I Wore A Groove In The Kitchen Floor With Endless Trips To The Fridge, Hoping Against Hope That I Had Somehow Missed A Plateful Of Cold Sausages On The Previous 4,000 Excursions. Then, For No Obvious Reason, I Decided To Buy A Footstool.