In A Recent Interview, Howard Dean Admitted

Public Service Announcement: In Case Of A Terrorist Attack, Bottled Water And Duct Tape Are Not Going To Do A Damn Thing. So Do What Homeland Security Dir. Tom Ridge Does: Get Really Drunk, And Pick Up A Hooker.

There's Not A Man, Woman Or Child On The Face Of The Earth Who Doesn't Enjoy A Tasty Beverage.

New York Is Great Though. If You?re Here And Want A One Of A Kind Souvenir Be Sure To Take Home The Police Sketch Of Your Assailant.

President Obama, By The Way, Is, I Think, Making His First Presidential European Trip. And While He's There In Europe, He Plans To Fire The Ceo's Of Bmw And Volkswagen.

Today Mitt Romney Is 68 Years Old. It's Kind Of Sad, A 68-year-old Guy With No Job, No Future - Wait A Minute, That's Me.