If Bill Gates Is Worth $30 Billion

Tv Evangelists Say They Don't Favor Any Particular Denomination, But I Think We've All Seen Their Eyes Light Up At Tens And Twenties.

Joan Rivers Telling Lauren Bacall Her Dress Is All Wrong Is Like Carrot Top Telling Lenny Bruce He Needs To Get An Edge.

Think Of Iraq As "east Korea," Because It Was A Shoot The Cuffs War For The Edification Of Kim Jong Il To Let Him Know We've Now Circled The Suvs. Iraq Was About Breaking Adhesions, Getting Lean, Staying Frosty - In Short, Getting Ready For The Big Doug Macarthur Memorial Cage Match To Come.

Now I Don't Have Anything Against Mexican People, But For God's Sakes, Sign The Gust Book On The Way In.

I'm Actually Equal Parts Cynicism And Apathy. I'm Always Willing To Believe The Worst As Long As It Doesn't Take Too Much Effort.