I Wrote Things For The School's Newspaper,

Senator John Kyle Claiming That Over 90 Percent Of What Planned Parenthood Does Is Abortion. Stephen Colbert: Over 90 Percent, That Is Unbelievable...in That It Is Not True. Only 3 Percent Of What Planned Parenthood Does Is Abortion. Kyle Just Rounded It Up To The Nearest 90.

As Shakespeare Said, There's Nothin' Cooler Than Droppin' The 'g's Off Of Gerunds!

A Native American Group Has Filed A Class-action Lawsuit Against The Government For Mismanagement Of Oil, Gas, Grazing, Timber And Other Royalties Since 1887. They're Seeking $100 Billion. Here's The Good News: The Government Has Responded What I Believe Is An Appropriate Counteroffer: A Two-cent Navajo Stamp.

Cynics Always Say No. Saying Yes Leads To Knowledge. So For As Long As You Have The Strength To, Say Yes.

Status Is Always Ripe For Satire, Status Is Always Good For Comedy.