I Was Way Too Hyperactive To Study

I Have A Keurig Coffee Maker, Which Is Really Kind Of A Luxury. It Was Given To Me By An Ex. I Realized When I'm Feeling Sentimental, I'll Gently, Tenderly Press The Button. Then When I Remember He Dumped Me, I Punch It.

Irony Is The Disparity Between What You Expect Will Happen, And What Does Happen. So Raining On Your Wedding Day Isn't Ironic, It's Just Crappy. It Would Have Been Ironic If She Had Lived In A Place Like Seattle, And Traveled To The Desert Of Mexico For A Wedding And It Ended Up Raining There, But Not In Seattle. Alanis Always Gets The Last Laugh Though. We All Sit Here, Saying Her Song Isn't Ironic, But In Fact, That's Pretty Ironic That She Wrote A Song Called Ironic That Wasn't Really Ironic. Those Canadians Are Pretty Crafty.

I Love The Excess Of Christmas. The Shopping Season That Begins In September, The Bad Pop Star Recordings Of Christmas Carols, The Decorations That Don't Know When To Come Down.

If I Had A Time Machine I Would Go Back 30 Years And Show Up At My Grandmother's Apartment Before The Gargantuan Meals She Would Serve And I Would Help Her.

I Wish I Had Played Team Sports. I Think Every Kid Should. Teamwork Builds Character - Teaches People About Leadership And Cooperation.