I Was Brought Up In Florida, So

He's So Ugly. When You Walked By Him, Your Pants Wrinkle. He Made Fly Balls Curve Foul.

Your First Name's White, Your Second Is Hispanic, And Your Third Belongs To A Black. No Wonder You Don't Know Who You Are.

I Don't Get Upset Over Things I Can Control, Because If I Can Control Them There's No Sense In Getting Upset. And I Don't Get Upset Over Things I Can't Control, Because If I Can't Control Them There's No Sense In Getting Upset.

The First Thing You Do When You Get Out To Center Field Is Put Up Your Finger And Check The Wind Chill Factor.

These Guys Are So Old They're Eligible For Meals On Wheels.