I Was Beaten Up Wherever I Went,

In New York, I Find People So Courteous And So Generous. Free Drinks In Bars. Free Taxi Rides.

Though Intelligence Is Powerless To Modify Character, It Is A Dab Hand At Finding Euphemisms For Its Weaknesses.

I Was Beaten Up Wherever I Went, And People Shouted At Me And Cursed Me And Threw Things At Me.

I Would Never Go To A Place And Live There Because The Weather Was Good Or The Scenery Was Beautiful Or The Architecture Was Wonderful. I Would Only Go Because The People Are Kind, And In America, Everybody's Your Friend And Happiness Rains Down From The Sky.

To Say A Thing Is Natural Is To Condone It, Never To Praise It.