I Want To Have Enough Data, So

I Don't Think I Will Write Anything That Could Be Even Remotely Considered A Genre Novel From This Point On. I Think I've Graduated.

Classical Music Fulfills For Me The Function Of Narrative. I Spend 90 Minutes A Day Listening To Symphonic Music - Beethoven To Bartók - Some Chamber Pieces, And That's My Enrichment.

I Drank, I Used Drugs, I Broke Into Houses, Sniffed Women's Undergarments. I Ate Benzedrex Inhalers, Jacked Off For 18 Hours At A Pop, Lived With My Dad In A Shitpad.

My Role Relationship To The Event Will Continue To Mutate. My Relationship To My Mother Will Continue To Change As I Revise My Judgments Of Her Depending On What I Learn About Her. It Goes On. But I Feel No Less Obsessive About My Work And No Less Passionately Committed To The Life I Have Now, But I Feel Poised Inside. Which Is A Good Thing To Feel At 48.

I Want To Have Enough Data, So I Won't Write Myself Into Thin Air, So That I Can Extrapolate And Give You This Secret Human Infrastructure. The Only Way I Sate My Own Curiosity Is To Create This From Scratch. There Must Be Commanding Love Stories. There Must Be Great Moral Cost.