I've Always Suffered From A Complete Inability

I Got In A Fight One Time With A Really Big Guy, And He Said, "i'm Going To Mop The Floor With Your Face." I Said, "you'll Be Sorry." He Said, "oh, Yeah? Why?" I Said, "well, How Are You Going To Get Into The Corners?"

I Try Not To Talk During The Day When I Have A Show That Night. My Voice Is My Instrument, Just Like A Saxophonist's Instrument Is His Saxophone, Plus Also His Voice, If He's The One Between Tunes That Makes Announcements.

New York's Such A Wonderful City. Although I Was At The Library Today. The Guy Was Very Rude. I Said, "i'd Like A Card." He Says, "you Have To Prove You're A Citizen Of New York." So I Stabbed Him.

Santa Fe Is Fun To Visit, But Property There Will Cost You An Arm And A Dillo.

The Scots Are A Very Tough People. They Have Drive-by Headbuttings. In Glasgow A Sweatband Is Considered A Silencer.