I've Always Said That Next To Imperial

The American Woman's Concept Of Marriage Is A Clearly Etched Picture Of Something Uninflated On The Floor. A Sleeping-bag Withoutair, A Beanbag Without Beans, A Padded Bra Without Pads. To Work On It, You Start Pumping--what The Magazines Call "breathing Life Into Your Marriage." Do Enough Of This And The Marriage Becomes A Kind Of Banquo's Ghost, A Quasi-living Entity.

In Its Purest Sense, Nicknaming Is An Elitist Ritual Practiced By Those Who Cherish Hierarchy. For Preppies It's A Smoke Signal That Allows Bunny To Tell Pooky That They Belong To The Same Tribe, While Among The Good Old Boys It Serves The Cause Of Masculine Dominance By Identifying Bear And Wrecker As Alpha Males.

Insecurity Breeds Treachery: If You Are Kind To People Who Hate Themselves, They Will Hate You As Well.

Each Time A Mediocre Singer Performs, He Is Saying, In Effect, "this Is Good Enough For You." The Audience, Thrust Into That Familiar American Mood Of Knowing Something Is Wrong But Not Knowing What It Is, Unconsciously Absorbs The Insult And Projects It Back Onto The Mediocre Performer In The Form Of Inattention, Rudeness And Noise.

America Is Not A Democracy, It's An Absolute Monarchy Ruled By King Kid. In A Nation Of Immigrants, The Child Is Automatically More Of An American Than His Parents. Americans Regard Children As What Mr. Hudson In Upstairs, Downstairs Called Betters. Aping Their Betters, American Adults Do Their Best To Turn Themselves Into Children. Puerility Exercises Droit De Seigneur Everywhere.