I Told My Dentist My Teeth Are

I Went To See My Doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...i Told Him Once, "doctor, Every Morning When I Get Up And Look In The Mirror I Feel Like Throwing Up. What's Wrong With Me?" He Said, "i Don't Know, But Your Eyesight Is Perfect."

Getting Older Is Tough. I Remember The Last Time I Felt An Erection. It Was At The Movies. The Only Trouble Is, It Belonged To The Guy Sitting Next To Me.

Don't Talk About Yourself So Much...we'll Do That When You Leave.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. I Had No Friends. I Remember The See-saw. I Had To Keep Runnin' From One End To The Other.

My Kid Wants To Be A Prison Warden When He Grows Up So He Can Put Thumb Tacks On The Electric Chairs.