I Really Haven't Seen This Many People

My Left Descending Septal Branch Artery Decided To Close Without Consultation With Any Of My Other Organs. It Happened On Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.

My Tombstone? I'm Thinking Something Along The Lines Of, 'geez, He Was Just Here A Minute Ago.'

In My Fifth-grade Yearbook - It's Right Up There On The Top Shell - The Last Page Says, "what About Your Future?" And Under My Name, It Says, "when I Grow Up, I Would Like To Be Either An Actor, A Radio Announcer, An Impersonator Or A Comedian."

I Finally Accepted Jesus. Not As My Personal Savior, But As A Man I Intend To Borrow Money From.

So Far, This Is The Oldest I've Been.