My Tombstone? I'm Thinking Something Along The

You Show Me Something That Doesn't Cause Cancer, And I'll Show You Something That Isn't On The Market Yet.

I Think The Warning Labels On Alcoholic Beverages Are Too Bland. They Should Be More Vivid. Here Are A Few I Would Suggest: "alcohol Will Turn You Into The Same Asshole Your Father Was."; "drinking Will Significantly Improve Your Chances Of Murdering A Loved One."; "if You Drink Long Enough, At Some Point You Will Vomit Up The Lining Of Your Stomach."; "use This Product And You May Wake Up In Morocco Wearing A Cowboy Suit And Tongue-kissing A Transmission Salesman."

Grudges Are A Waste Of Perfect Happiness. Laugh..apologiz E..let Go Of What You Can't Change.

The Person Who Is Most A Part Of Me Is The Performer, Is The Standup, The Guy Who Says, "hey Look At Me, Listen To This!" I Do That Because That's What I Do, I Love Doing It.

Even In A Fake Democracy, People Ought To Get What They Want Once In A While.