I'm The Only Topless Octogenarian In Washington.

If You Can't Think Of Anything Nice To Say, Come Sit Here Beside Me.

If You Can't Say Something Nice About Someone, Come And Sit Right Here Next To Me.

My Specialty Is Detached Malevolence.

My Father Always Wanted To Be The Corpse At Every Funeral, The Bride At Every Wedding And The Baby At Every Christening.

He Looks As Though He's Been Weaned On A Pickle.