I'm Not Versed Enough In Constitutional Law

I Live In Los Angeles And I Had Been Drinking One Night, So I Was On The Walk Of Fame And I Saw Tony Danza's Star And I Started Urinating On It. Just Yelling Out, 'who's The Boss Now?'

I Get Burned Out On Standup. But I Like Acting. I Do Like It. But Sometimes You Just Feel Like A Monkey. You Just Feel Like A Complete Tool. But I Like It. I Do Like It. Stand-up Is Just More Free. A Lot More Freedom Because You Just Do What You Want To Do.

I'm Writing A Book About Siamese Twins That Are Attached At The Nose. It's Called: Stop Staring At Me!

'baskets' Isn't A Cbs Show. Nothing Against That, But This Is An Off-kilter Show On Cable That The Channel Lets You Do Interesting Things. Look, If It Works, It Works. And If It Doesn't, It's Just A Miniseries.

I Try To Write Three Jokes Every Day. I Don't Sit Down And Write Them, It's Just Things That Pop Into My Head. Then I'll Go Watch It Fail Onstage That Night.