I'm Not A Great Joke Writer, Which

North Korea Is The Country That The Monkeys In The Wizard Of Oz Came From.

I Think One Reason People Play Golf Is It Allows Them To Obsess About Something Other Than The Daily Crap. It Takes Your Mind Off That.

I Like Indoor Christmas Trees. And I Like People Who Decorate Their Homes With Lights And All That Crap. I Think It's A Healthy Outlet For Them. If They Weren't Covering Their Lawns With Twinkling Lights, They'd Be Doing Something That Was Really, Really Creepy.

Americans Continue To Rapidly Homogenize Ourselves Into A Neutered Oblivion. For A Country Founded On The Protection Of The Unique, We Relish Our Sameness.

If There Is Hell, It Was Modeled After Junior High School.