If There Is Hell, It Was Modeled

Ninety Percent Of A Shirt That Not Only Was Bright Purple And Green But With A Design On It That, If You Moved Too Quickly, Might Cause A Seizure In An Unsuspecting Onlooker.

Political Audiences Are Not Fun.

I've Always Been A Social Network Retard, Even Before There Was A Social Network. People Would Say, "you Want To Go To This Party And Do Some Networking?"

When People Come To My Act Any Time After Thanksgiving, I Usually Say, You Shouldn't Be Here. You Should Be Shopping. Our Economy Depends On You! You Should Be Out There Buying Stuff.'

People Go To Vegas, And They Don't Know What To Do; Here's What You Do. You Go To The Casino In Your Hotel. On Your Arrival, You Get $100 In Quarters. Take That $100 Back To Your Hotel Room And Stare At It For A Long, Long Time. Why? Because You're Never Going To See Them Again. Then You Take Those Quarters To The Bathroom And You Flush Them, One By One By One. And The Nice Thing About That Is That Every So Often The Toilet Will Back Up, And You'll Feel Like A Winner!