I'm Getting So Old, I Don't Even

The First Time I Played The Masters, I Was So Nervous I Drank A Bottle Of Rum Before I Teed Off. I Shot The Happiest 83 Of My Life.

Golf Is The Only Sport That A Professional Can Enjoy Playing With His Friends.

A Golf Ball Is Like A Clock. Always Hit It At 6 O'clock And Make It Go Toward 12 O'clock. But Make Sure You're In The Same Time Zone.

I Have 13 Dependents. All Of Them Have 140 Iq Or Better, Except Me. I'm Under 100 Iq, And I Support Them All.

I Never Pray To God To Make A Putt. I Pray To God To Help Me React Good If I Miss A Putt.