I'm Attracted To Heartbreakers.

John Goodman Isn't Fat. He's In A Category Beyond Fat. What Does One Call It? Whalelike.

My View Of Life Is, 'if You're Going To Miss Heaven, Why Miss It By Two Inches? Miss It!

It Was Great To Be The Rock Comic, The Shock Comic. But After You've Played Giants Stadium With Bon Jovi In Front Of 82,000 People, After You've Done The 'wild Thing' Video With Jessica Hahn And Every Rock Band From Hell, You're Not Gonna Top That.

The Russians Haven't Been To The Moon. You Know Why? Because They're Space Pussies... You Really Want To Impress Us? Bring Us Back Our Flag!

Folks, I've Been Straight For Seventeen Days... Not All In A Row.