I Love Advertising Because I Love Lying.

It's Amazing That The Amount Of News That Happens In The World Every Day Always Just Exactly Fits The Newspaper.

On The Side Of Box Of My Superman Costume It Actually Said - 'do Not Attempt To Fly!'

Well, Howard Stern Has Been Doing His Impression Of Me For Years. It Doesn't Really Bother Me.

For People On My Side Of The Cubicle, The Goal Is Always Creativity. Spending Your Time Overcoming Corporate Resistance To Creativity - I Just Don't Want To Do That.

If Aliens Are Watching Us Through Telescopes, They're Going To Think The Dogs Are The Leaders Of The Planet. If You See Two Life Forms, One Of Them's Making A Poop, The Other One's Carrying It For Him, Who Would You Assume Is In Charge?