I Like To Be Loved By My

[on The Bmw X3] If You Are Clinically Insane, By Which I Mean You Wake Up In The Morning And Think You Are An Onion, Here's Your Car.

She Can Take A Year To Read Something, Whereas I Like A Book That Becomes More Important In My Life That Life Itself. When I Was In The Middle Of 'red Storm Rising' By Tom Clancy - Which Was Not Selected For The Man Booker Shortlist - You Could Have Taken My Liver Out And Fed It To The Dog. And I Wouldn't Have Noticed.

Biathletes Need To Eat 6.000 Calories A Day: Six Thousand! That's The Equivalent Of 2 Pounds Of Butter, 70 Slices Of Bread, 112 Eggs, 86 Tabs Of Yogurts, 28 Potatoes, 117 Biscuits And 21 Twix Bars. On That Basis, I Could Be An Olympic Biathlete!

When You've Finished Using A Car, Put The F***ing Seat Back, So Humans Can Use It Afterwards.

If The Scottish Want To Break Away, I Shall Stand On Hadrian's Wall With A Teary Handkerchief, And Say: 'good Riddance To The Lot Of You, And Take Your Stupid Bagpipes With You.'