I Like My Friends Because They Make

I Went To New Zealand This Year, And, Whew Man, I Know A Lot Of People Want To Go There. But Let Me Just Tell You, It's 22 Hours By Plane. So, If You Have The Opportunity, Don't.

Interesting Thing About Being Rich Is Once You Pay Your Taxes, You're Still Rich.

Stupidity Really Gets Me Going, When It's Just Plain Stupid, Obvious Stupidity.

This Is What I've Been Waiting For My Whole Life. A President Who's Not Afraid To Tell The Truth About Being A Lying A**hole.

I'm Not A Great Joke Writer, Which Is Odd For A Comic To Say, But I'm Not.