I Know If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't

I've Been To All 50 States, And Traveled This Whole Country, And 90 Percent Of The People Are Good Folks. The Rest Of Them Take After The Other Side Of The Family.

You Have To Change Those Diapers Every Day. When Those Directions On The Side Of The Pampers Box Say, 'holds 6-12 Pounds' They're Not Kidding!

It's A Weird Sensation To Be Mad And Learning At The Same Time.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Hammer Bottle Caps Into The Frame Of Your Front Door To Make It Look Nice.

You May Be A Redneck If . . . You Think You Are An Entrepreneur Because Of The "dirt For Sale" Sign In The Front Yard.