I Just Don't Let That Mentality Be

I'm Lucky Because I Intentionally Keep My Overhead Low, And So I Can Say, "no, Thank You."

I Learned Pretty Early Is I Never Defend My Material; It's For Other People To If Someone Is Offended. It's So Subjective, And If You Don't Find It Funny, It's Definitely Going To Be Offensive.

I'm Always In Those Tabloids Where They Show Who's Badly Dressed. It's Funny, Because Each Time I'm Getting My Picture Taken, I'm Thinking, This Is A Nice Outfit.

It's Just Hard To Say, "well, I Do This, Which Means This." If I'm Telling You Exactly Who I Am, Then There's Nothing For The Audience To Say.

When I Was 9 Or 10 Years Old, My Dad Took Me Over To A Neighboring Farm To Help Get Stuff For The Meal. The Farmer, Vic, Told Me To Look At All The Turkeys And Pick One Out. I Saw A Cute One With A Silly Walk And Cried, 'him!' Before My Pointing Finger Had Even Dropped To My Side, Vic Had Grabbed The Turkey By The Neck And Slit [the Animal's] Throat. Blood And Feathers Went Flying. I Had Sentenced That Turkey To Death! Up Until Then, I Didn't Know Where Meat Came From—and I've Been A Vegetarian Ever Since.