I Have Found That The Only Thing

Jeb Bush Has To Distance Himself From What They Call The Bush Brand. So He Keeps Saying, 'i Am My Own Man.' But When Governor Chris Christie Is Out On The Campaign Trail, He's Always Saying, 'i'm My Own Man, Plus Another Guy.'

They Found A Scrapbook With Photos Of Osama Bin Laden From The '90s, And They're Studying Each And Every Photo Very, Very Closely. My Favorite Shot Of Osama Bin Laden Was Right Between The Eyes.

Pamela Anderson Is A Great Dancer Considering She Can't See Her Feet.

I Got A Call From My Mom Today, She Says, 'well, David, I See You Didn't Get The 'tonight Show' Again.'

The General Election's Taking Place Today In Iraq, So I Guess That Means We're One Step Closer To Being There For Another 10 Years.