I Got Some New Underwear The Other

I Used To Be Scared Of Pretty Girls, Until One Confessed They're Just As Scared Of Me.

I'm Filthy Stinking Rich - Well, Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad.

I Think The Whole Concept Of Monotheism Is A Gift From The Gods.

I Go To Pick Up A Girl In A Bar. I Say Will You Go Home With Me? She Says I Don't Know, Do You Have Cable? I Say No, But The Rope Should Work Just Fine.

I've Always Had A Special Place In My Heart For Old Women Digging Through Garbage Bins. They Saved My Life So Many Times As A Baby.