I Finally Had A Ship Tattooed To

You Know You're Old If They Have Discontinued Your Blood Type.

Never Go To Bed Angry, Stay Up And Fight.

Just The Other Day I Said To Fang, "don't You Think We've Got A Storybook Romance?" And He Said, "yes, And Every Page Is Ripped.

Would You Believe That I Once Entered A Beauty Contest? I Must Have Been Out Of My Mind. I Not Only Came In Last, I Got 361 Get-well Cards.

My Sister-in-law Is So Skinny That She Has A Striped Dress With Only One Stripe.