I Don't Really Know The Person Who

From Age 23 To 44 - I'm 45 Now - I Was Always In Need Of Money, And I Was Especially In Need Of It From 23 To About 34, And My Great Aunt Would Always Give Me Money, A Hundred Bucks, Every Two Months Or So, And A Lot Of Times That Hundred Bucks Made A Huge Difference - I Could Eat Or Pay A Small Bill. It Kept Me Going. She Gave Me Money. It Was Very Loving.

I Wondered Where The Person Was Who Had Taken My Place, Who Wanted To Know What News People Had Been Told. I'm Always Looking For The Person Who Replaces Me, Who Thinks The Things I Do, Who Fills In For Me When I'm Not There. I Know There Is Someone Younger Than Me Doing What I Did And Someone Older Doing What I Will Do, And Someone My Age Being Just Like Me.

It's Hard To Leave New York: This Is Where My Friends Are, My Parents Are. It Is So Vital. The Whole World Seems To Look To New York.

I Grew Up In Northern New Jersey - The Banlieue Of New York - And I Now Live In Brooklyn. I Am Separated From My Parents By About 50 Miles, But Really There Is Almost No Distance Between Us. I Speak To Them Nearly Every Day.

I Didn't Think I Was In A Morbid Mood, But It Appears I Am. My Mind Goes Round And Round Trying To Figure Things Out, But I Always Come Back To The Same Two Things: Loneliness And Death. Life Ends Before We Figure Anything Out, Most Importantly How Not To Be Lonely. Solitude Is Fine. But Feeling Like You Have No One To Love - Abject Lonliness - Is Not Alright.