I Definitely Have Breast Envy. When Teenage

I Am A Professional Transvestite, So I Can Run About In Heels And Not Fall Over.

When I Watched Braveheart I Was In Tears And I Was Rooting For The Scottish People

I Use A Bruce Lee Technique: "the Way Of No Way". He Had The Idea That He Would Learn Everything, So That Whoever He Had To Fight, He Could Improvise Anything. The Best Way Of Starting A Gig Is Just To Not Think Of Anything - To Clear Your Mind, Not In An Empty Zen State, But More Just To Go On And See Where You Go.

Racist People, Interestingly, Are Never As Polite As Smokers. Have You Noticed That? Smokers Always Go, "do You Mind If I Smoke? Oh, You Do? Okay, I'll Go Outside And Have A Cigarette."

Performance Enhancing Drugs Are Banned In The Olympics. Ok, We Can Swing With That. But Performance 'debilitating' Drugs Should Not Be Banned. Smoke A Joint And Win The 100 Metres, Fair Play For You. That's Pretty Good. Unless Someone's Dangling A Mars Bar Off In The Distance.