Favorites Quote's
Author
Topic's
Blog
I Can't Wait To Get Off The Stage, Because I've Got Some Lifesavers In My Pocket And Pineapple Is Next!
-Mitch Hedberg
Please Wait....
Translating....
Select Image
Download as Image
English
Spanish
French
German
Hindi
Chinese
I Can't Wait To Get Off The
Mitch Hedberg
I Can't Wait To Get Off The Stage, Because I've Got Some Lifesavers In My Pocket And Pineapple Is Next!
Views: 1
Topic
Funny
Humor
Waiting
More From Mitch Hedberg
I Heard A Guy Tell Me He Liked Cherries. I Waited To Hear If He Was Going To Say "tomatoes", Then I Realized He Like Cherries Just. That Joke Is Ridiculous.
Funny
Humor
Guy
If I Was A Locksmith, I'd Be Pimping That Out Man. I'll Trade You A Free Key Duplication For. That Joke Made Me Laugh Before I Could Finish It, Which Is Good, Because It Had No Ending.
Funny
Humor
Men
I Don't Know How To Fix A Car. If The Car Breaks Down, And The Gas Tank Does Not Say "e", I'm Screwed. But If The Gas Tank Says "e", I Get All Cocky - "i've Got This One, Don't Worry." So I Get Out The Toolbox Aka Wallet.
Funny
Cocky
Humor
Alcoholism Is A Disease, But It's The Only One You Can Get Yelled At For Having. Goddamn It Otto, You Are An Alcoholic. Goddamn It Otto, You Have Lupus... One Of Those Two Doesn't Sound Right.
Funny
Humor
Two
I Used To Be A Hot-tar Roofer. Yeah, I Remember That... Day.
Funny
Humor
Hot
Trending Author
John Dingell
Susan Lucci
Aron Ralston
William Blake
Tom Peters
Georgina Chapman
Quotes by Topics
Action
Attention
Believe
Blessing
Desire
Dream
Ends
Fear
Fun
God
Grief
Hard Work
Hate
Life
Leave Me Alone
Men
Mind
Moving
Opportunity
Philosophy
Positive
Religious
Strong
Thinking
Want
Category