If I Was A Locksmith, I'd Be

I Used To Be A Hot-tar Roofer. Yeah, I Remember That... Day.

If Carrots Got You Drunk, Rabbits Would Be Messed-up.

You Got To Always Take Advantage Of Getting Your Room Cleaned. You May Think It's Nice Not To Have Anybody In Your Room, Like Your Privacy's Not Being Invaded. But There's Nothing Like Walking Back Into A Clean Room. You've Got To Remember That.

If You Drink O'douls, You Don't Drink; But If You Drink 20 O'douls In A Half Hour, Then You're A Non-alcoholic.

I Want To Get A Job Naming Kitchen Appliances. That Seems Easy; Refrigerator, Toaster, Blender. You Just Say What The Thing Does And Add "er".