I Bought A Seven-dollar Pen Because I

Every Mcdonald's Commercial Ends The Same Way: Prices And Participation May Vary. I Wanna Open A Mcdonald's And Not Participate In Anything. I Wanna Be A Stubborn Mcdonald's Owner. "cheeseburgers?" "nope! We Got Spaghetti, And Blankets."

You Know They Call Corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob", But That's How It Comes Out Of The Ground. They Should Just Call It Corn, And Every Other Type Of Corn, Corn-off-the-cob. It's Not Like If Someone Cut Off My Arm They Would Call It "mitch", But Then Re-attached It, And Call It "mitch-all-together".

I Can't Wait To Get Off The Stage, Because I've Got Some Lifesavers In My Pocket And Pineapple Is Next!

I Want To Ride In A Cold Air Balloon. "this Isn't Going Anywhere!"

I Cannot Tell You What Hotel I'm Staying At, But There Are Two Trees Involved.