I Am A Man Of My Word…

Sometimes It Looks Like I'm Dancing, But It's Just That I Walked Into A Spider Web.

My Friend Named His Car. And I Don't Want To Be Judgemental, But... What A Dork.

If I Have To Move Up In A Building, I Choose The Elevator Over The Escalator. Because One Time I Was Riding The Escalator And I Tripped. I Fell Down The Stairs For An Hour And A Half.

I'm Afraid Of Sharks - But Only In A Water Situation.

It Would Be Nice If People Said, God Bless You Not Just When You Sneezed But Also When You Farted.